Most people spend their lives trying to stand out by talking louder, promoting themselves more aggressively, or drawing attention to their own accomplishments. Yet the people who make the biggest impact are often doing the opposite. They listen before speaking. They elevate other people. They amplify good ideas. They create clarity in noisy environments. Years ago, my wife shared a simple phrase that completely changed how I think about influence: “Be a highlighter in a room full of crayons.” The idea is simple but powerful. While crayons constantly draw attention to themselves, highlighters draw attention to what matters. This article explores why highlighter people are so rare, why they stand out, and how becoming one can transform your relationships, leadership, and influence.

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The World is Full of Crayon People

The other day, my wife told me to be a highlighter in a room full of crayons.

And that got me thinking…

There are a lot of rooms filled with a lot of crayon people. Billions and billions of crayon people.

Each possessing unique talents, skills, observations, and experiences.

Crayon people aren’t bad people in the traditional sense. They’re normal. They’re average. They fill the vast majority of the proverbial bell curve.

This large people group own their originality. They fully understand who they are in the greater scheme of things. Their tastes are discovered and distinct. And they’re good with that. If anything, crayon people simply want to be more of what they are.

Blue crayon people simply want to be more blue. Let them on the team and you’ll pretty soon have a blue-colored team.

Green crayon people want more green.

And pink crayon people, well, just don’t get in their way. They want to color the world pink and once that’s done, they’ll go dark pink.

Crayon people color the world their way. Whatever they believe in, whatever they love, whatever they enjoy, those are the things crayon people draw.

Crayon people constantly draw their color everywhere they go. Unfortunately, crayon colors don’t blend well.

A Room Full of Crayon People

What could go wrong with a room full of passionate, original, unique crayon people? Quite a bit, actually.

You walk into a room.

An incessant jabbering draws your attention to the left where a pink crayon person is standing. You know they’re pink because they’re jabbering about pink things. Pink this. Pink that. Pink is the greatest thing since sliced bread. If only sliced bread were pink, they’d say, now THAT would be something great.

A subtle hue catches your attention to your right. It’s a green crayon person. They’re not saying much but their green persona is coming right across from head to toe. They are completely decked out in their green interests. They’re surrounded by a couple of green crayon people also outfitted in their interest of choice and, through the hushed whispers, you’re pretty sure they’ve cast you out already as a non-green crayon.

In the corner of your eye you see a cold, calculated blue crayon person. They give you a glance and you already know you’re not welcome in their presence. Whatever they’re up to, it’s too exclusive for you, the greens, the pinks, and any other color crayon who happens to exist on the same planet as them.

All of a sudden, an orange crayon person walks by. They stop, lock eyes with you, and smile. Out comes a friendly hand to welcome you into the room. They seem so warm and inviting. You shake their hand- it’s firm but gentle. You already feel at home. You wonder, maybe you’re an orange crayon too? Then, they cut to the chase, pass the pleasantries, and ask if you’re interested in joining their team. It’s the best. By a longshot. It’s the only way worth living. In fact, if you say no, you’ll never get the chance again. Actually, the orange crayon person changes their mind. They never wanted you anyways. They reject you. It’s not the other way around.

There you stand, wondering where you fit in. A pink is coloring pink. A green is coloring green. A blue, blue. An orange, orange. And at this point you consider following suit. Maybe you should start drawing your own color in the room. Let everyone know and see what color you are.

With so many colors drawing themselves, would it hurt having another color added to the mix?

The World Doesn’t Need More Crayon People

The trouble with living life like a crayon person is that it’s ineffective. When all the colors draw on top of each other, you end up with a mess. It’s chaos and it’s confusing.

The reason the world doesn’t need more crayon people is because humanity is rooted in the lifestyle habits of crayon living. We don’t need to learn how to live like a crayon. It comes naturally.

The act of focusing inward here is far different than the useful and helpful act of being introspective and reflective – that is spending time considering our own habits, hang ups, and opportunities for personal development.

Our tendency to maintain an inward focus leads us to draw our color all over someone else’s. Rather than seeking to create something beautiful, we simply draw on top of other people’s work, life, ideas, and experiences.

When I am acting like a crayon person, it doesn’t matter what another crayon has created. I’m slapping my seal of approval or disapproval all over it. Unfortunately, this doesn’t yield a work of art for me or them. It just creates a chaotic mess.

A room full of crayon people coloring their own way on top of everyone else ends up creating an incoherent, useless glob of black. Not only can no one see what I did, now no one can see what other people did.

In a sense, we’ve ruined it.

Alternative to Crayon Living

There is another way to live. You wouldn’t have come if there wasn’t.

While each of us is naturally inclined to think most heavily on ourselves, we are also all driven to live for something more. Something more than just our own needs and wants.

This drive for more was captured in the godly exhortation of the Apostle Paul when writing a letter to the early Church in Phillipi:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Considering the interests of others and valuing them is what I call being a highlighter person.

What Is a Highlighter Person?

A highlighter person is someone who intentionally brings attention to the value, ideas, needs, and contributions of other people.

While crayon people naturally draw attention to themselves, highlighter people focus on amplifying what already exists around them.

This does not mean highlighter people lack opinions, talents, goals, or ambitions. They do. The difference is that they understand influence is often built by helping others succeed rather than constantly promoting themselves.

A highlighter person walks into a room asking:

“Who needs encouragement?”

“Who has a good idea that isn’t being heard?”

“Who is struggling quietly?”

“How can I help someone else shine?”

You have probably encountered highlighter people before.

A leader who gives credit to the team instead of taking it for themselves.

A friend who listens carefully instead of waiting for their turn to speak.

A manager who actively promotes the accomplishments of employees.

A teacher who notices the quiet student in the back of the classroom and makes sure they feel included.

A mentor who opens doors for someone else without expecting recognition in return.

These people often leave a lasting impression because they make others feel seen, heard, valued, and appreciated.

In a culture that constantly encourages self-promotion, highlighter people stand out because they choose service over attention and contribution over recognition.

Ironically, the people most focused on helping others stand out often become the people everyone remembers.

Why Highlighter People Stand Out

It seems backward at first.

Wouldn’t the people who talk the most, promote themselves the most, and demand the most attention naturally stand out?

Sometimes they do.

But often, the people who leave the deepest and most lasting impression are the ones who make others feel valued.

That is the power of a highlighter person.

They Listen First

Most people listen with the intent to reply.

Highlighter people listen with the intent to understand.

Instead of mentally preparing their next point while someone else is speaking, they pay attention. They ask thoughtful questions. They seek clarification. They genuinely care about what the other person is trying to communicate.

Being heard is one of the most powerful human experiences. Highlighter people provide that gift freely.

They Create Trust

Trust is difficult to build and easy to destroy.

People naturally trust those who consistently demonstrate care, honesty, and consideration for others.

When someone feels understood rather than judged, they become more willing to share ideas, concerns, struggles, and opportunities.

Highlighter people create environments where trust can grow because they focus less on proving themselves and more on supporting the people around them.

They Build Stronger Relationships

Relationships thrive when people feel valued.

Whether in friendships, marriages, workplaces, churches, or communities, people naturally gravitate toward those who encourage, support, and uplift them.

Highlighter people are often remembered long after conversations end because they leave others feeling better than they found them.

They understand that relationships are built one interaction at a time.

They Help Others Succeed

One of the defining characteristics of a highlighter person is their willingness to celebrate someone else’s success.

Rather than competing for attention, they help others gain confidence, recognition, and opportunities.

They recommend talented coworkers.

They share useful ideas.

They mentor younger professionals.

They connect people with resources and relationships that can help them grow.

When others succeed, highlighter people see it as a victory rather than a threat.

They Reduce Conflict

Many disagreements escalate because people feel ignored, misunderstood, or disrespected.

Highlighter people help reduce unnecessary conflict by slowing conversations down and helping people feel heard.

They seek understanding before judgment.

They look for common ground before drawing battle lines.

They help clarify confusion rather than amplify chaos.

While they won’t avoid difficult conversations, they often approach those conversations in ways that promote solutions instead of division.

They Create Influence Naturally

Ironically, people who spend the least amount of time chasing influence often develop the most of it.

Influence grows when people trust you.

When they respect you.

When they know you care about their well-being.

When they believe you are genuinely trying to help.

Highlighter people rarely need to demand attention because they have already earned it through their actions.

The world is full of people trying to be noticed.

Highlighter people choose something different.

They help others be noticed.

And that is precisely why they stand out.

Highlighter People

Highlighter people are priceless.

Has someone ever come alongside of you and invested in you? Not just financially, although that’s certainly appreciated, but emotionally, mentally, or physically?

Have you ever had a friend in person or online that cared more about hearing your thoughts and struggles rather than spewing their own?

Has someone ever given you an award or shoutout at work?

Have you ever been on the receiving end of something nice? A fresh breakfast? A day off? A tip? An unexpected gift?

Has anyone ever had just the right word for you in a time of need? A word that lifted you up and put air in your wings?

If you experienced any of these things, you experienced a highlighter interaction.

That is, you experienced what life is like when sharing the same space as someone who has chosen to be a highlighter person.

Highlighter people are outward focused. They consider the needs, wants, thoughts, feelings, and desires of other people. They reflect internally on how to impact other people for the benefit of those people. They assess situations and identify the types of people in a room in order to mold and shape themselves in the best possible way for the rooms benefit.

This is why it’s so incredibly important to be a highlighter in a room full of crayons!

In a room full of crayons, a room full of people focused on their own thoughts, experiences, concerns, or pains, a highlighter person can make a difference.

Adding another crayon just adds to the noise.

But a highlighter adds clarity. A highlighter distinguishes differences in opinion in order to sort through them. A highlighter person makes a declaration that instead of coming to join in with the masses they have come to help the masses.

Instead of drawing over someone’s work, highlighter people emphasize the work of others. Highlighter people promote information and experiences that are drowning in the sea of content overload.

Highlighter people see the one hurt, the one pain, the one frustration quietly shared in a dark corner of the room and seek to help it. To deal with it. To cultivate growth for it. To walk alongside of it. To walk alongside of…the crayon that drew it.

Highlighter people let others speak first. They listen actively and carefully. They weigh their response and consider the effects and impacts of each word or deed that proceeds.

Highlighter people take responsibility not only for their own actions but the actions of others by standing in the gap of the noise.

Highlighter People Amplify Others

One of the most powerful things a highlighter person does is amplify the work of others.

Most people are willing to celebrate their own accomplishments.

Far fewer are willing to promote someone else’s.

Highlighter people intentionally draw attention to good work, valuable ideas, meaningful contributions, and deserving people.

When they discover a talented artist, they share the artist’s work.

When they encounter a helpful article, they recommend it.

When a coworker contributes to a successful project, they make sure others know about it.

When someone is struggling to be heard, they help create space for that person’s voice.

Think about the impact of a literal highlighter.

A highlighter does not create new words on the page.

It draws attention to words that already exist.

Highlighter people operate the same way.

They don’t need to be the smartest person in the room.

They don’t need to be the loudest.

They don’t need to dominate every conversation.

Instead, they help other people and ideas receive the attention they deserve.

In a world where everyone is competing to be noticed, becoming the person who notices others is surprisingly rare.

And surprisingly powerful.

Highlighter people aren’t born. They’re made.

Everyone who consciously decides to act towards the interest of others came from a crayon life but will no longer die a crayon’s death.

Highlighter people make a mark on the communities they serve and work within. Whether small or large, uniform or diverse, there is already enough noise in every room of the world to need a highlighter kind of person.

Grab hold of the thoughts, ideas, and experiences you come across today, not of your own, but of others, and see how you can amplify, distinguish, and support those who so desperately want to be heard or seen. Be the one to create a dialogue that unifies people rather than a chaos that divides people.

Have you come across something insightful? Something delightful? Something helpful or good? Highlight it!

Have you come across someone powerful? Someone hardworking? Someone with a gift or talent to share? Highlight them!

A crayon that needs the most highlighting is the one who isn’t drawing anything. Seek out those quiet, anxious, or embarrassed crayons. Highlight them with friendship, leadership, and support. You may find them drawing their own work of art while they highlight yours.

If you choose to be a highlighter in a room full of crayons, you’re going to stand out. You’re going to be different. People will notice. You will notice. And there may just be a few other crayons who decide to highlight you.

Final Thoughts

The world does not suffer from a shortage of opinions.

Every room, meeting, social media platform, and community is already filled with people eager to draw their own color across the page.

Being a crayon is easy. It comes naturally.

Being a highlighter requires intentionality.

It requires listening before speaking.

Encouraging before criticizing.

Serving before seeking recognition.

Highlighting the work, ideas, and contributions of others before promoting our own.

Ironically, the people most focused on helping others stand out often become the people everyone remembers.

Not because they demanded attention.

Not because they were the loudest voice in the room.

But because they made other people feel seen, heard, valued, and appreciated.

The next time you walk into a room full of crayons, resist the urge to simply add more color to the noise.

Instead, look for something worth highlighting.

You may discover that helping others shine is one of the most powerful ways to leave your own mark on the world.

If you’re looking for ways to help children become highlighter people, consider Bonnie Clark’s new picture book, Catching Thoughts. If we’re going to navigate the noise of other people, we first need to navigate our own!