Whether you’re leading a team, strengthening a relationship, writing an article, resolving a disagreement, or asking someone for a favor, your success often depends on your ability to communicate effectively. Unfortunately, many people think communication is simply speaking, writing, or presenting information. In reality, effective communication requires much more. It requires understanding your message, considering your audience, listening carefully, and knowing the outcome you hope to achieve. When communication breaks down, it is rarely because people lack words. More often, they fail to communicate with clarity, empathy, or intention. The good news is that communication is a skill that can be learned and improved. By understanding a few key principles, you can dramatically increase the likelihood that your message is understood, respected, and acted upon.

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Know the Message Before You Choose the Medium

Many people focus on choosing the perfect image, presentation, illustration, or visual aid before they fully understand the message they want to communicate.

The most effective communicators do the opposite.

They identify the message first and then choose the medium that best supports it.

Before you select an image, whether it be in a slideshow presentation, on a website, an emoji text message, or chosen art illustrations for a children’s picture book, you must know what words you would use in it’s place.

Consider why you might hang a picture of a sunset on your wall.

• Maybe you want to feel relaxed when you see it.
• Maybe you had a wonderful vacation and saw a sunset there.
• Maybe you just like the Sun and can’t get enough of it.

Now consider hanging up a group of words, a phrase, a sentence, a paragraph, or even 1,000 words instead of the picture.

What words would you choose?

Here’s what I would write on the wall before I hung up a picture of the Sun.

• God, your works are beyond what I can fathom.
• Your light shines brilliantly.
• The world is a beautiful place even when there is difficulty and hardship.
• Nature is beautiful and to be appreciated.
• Each day, the Sun rises without fail.
• I can rely on God’s consistency.
• I love the beach. The wind. The noise of crashing waves rolling on and on.

Notice that none of these thoughts are actually about a photograph. They are about meaning, memory, beauty, consistency, gratitude, and faith. Once I understand those ideas, I can select an image that reinforces them.

Would I choose a black and white sunset?

Of course not! I would pick one that shows off the Sun’s brilliance, the sand’s coarseness, the wave’s rolling over one another, etc.

Next time you select an image or illustration, consider first what words you would put in it’s place.

This principle applies far beyond pictures.

Before creating a presentation, writing an email, recording a video, or publishing an article, ask yourself one question: “What am I actually trying to communicate?”

Once the message is clear, choosing the right format becomes much easier.

See the Conversation Through the Other Person’s Eyes

Would you say things differently if you were on the receiving end instead of the giving end?

Of course you would.

When you and I speak to people, we must filter it through a certain level of sensitivity, not out of fear of repercussion, but out of priority on communicating effectively. HelpGuide.org wrote an excellent article on effective communication that compliments these strategies.

Effective communication is not measured by what you intended to say.

It is measured by what the other person actually understands.

That requires empathy.

Before delivering a message, consider how the listener will interpret your words, tone, and request.

Using Persuasion to Communicate More Effectively

One of the most important things you can do when expressing your thoughts is to speak persuasively.

Speaking persuasively can be summed up by leading people to work with you rather than work against you.

Persuasion can be a very complex focus of study but simply consider how the other person will receive your message.

If you communicate something offensive, distracting, or confusing, you’re taking the conversation away from a place of constructive discussion to somewhere else.

Here’s an example of persuasion from my life:

I intended to ask my now wife to marry me in a church parking lot where we spent many Sunday afternoons chatting.

But it couldn’t be just any old parking space.

I planned to drop on one knee in the exact same spot her and I would always park and talk.

Can you imagine my shock when I showed up to the parking lot a little early, anticipating her showing up very soon, and finding the entire parking lot empty except the one spot I wanted to use?!

At that moment, I was faced with a decision how to persuade the individual to move their vehicle (preferably far, far away).

I could say, “Hey, dude, you’re in my spot, pick another one!” Do you think that would have persuaded him? Would that have gone over well? Would that have communicated my message effectively? What was my message anyways?

My message internally was “I want to re-create a beautiful moment with my future wife and for that to happen I need to have this space for a brief period of time.” But what the gentleman would probably hear is “Blah blah, I own this spot, blah blah, fight me, blah blah.”

Instead, I took a more strategic route.

• I parked near the man, who thankfully was still in his vehicle.
• I addressed him as sir and told him I was about to ask for my girlfriend’s hand in marriage.
• I told him how special that specific spot was and how we met each other and spent so many afternoons getting to know each other right there.
• Then, I delivered my request.
• Smooth and concise.
• I even afforded him an alternative solution: I asked if he could please move, if only for a brief moment until I was finished, he didn’t even have to leave the parking lot but could go park somewhere nearby.

Do you think he was persuaded?

You bet.

He got the message because it was communicated effectively. I switched places with him, knowing that asking him to move would be an inconvenience.

I spoke to him the way I would have wanted him to speak to me.

With respect, sincerity, and clarity.

That is how we should communicate with anyone: customers, coworkers, family members, readers, listeners, and friends.

Effective communication begins when we stop thinking only about what we want to say and start thinking about what the other person needs to hear.

The lesson extends far beyond marriage proposals. Whether you’re providing feedback, negotiating a project, resolving a disagreement, or leading a team, people respond better when they feel understood and respected.

Determine the Outcome Before You Communicate

In order to communicate effectively, you must know what the desired goal is.

Many communication failures occur because people start speaking before they understand what they want to accomplish.

Are you trying to persuade? Inform? Teach? Encourage? Entertain?

Different goals require different approaches.

Let’s take writing children’s picture books as an example. If our intent is to make a child laugh and ask the reader to read the book again, how might we accomplish this?

We could add humor but not just any humor, kid humor. Kids and adults have very different humor triggers. This is part of knowing your target audience. We could keep word count short, being very selective and concise with our message. We can try not to be preachy and instead trust the child and reader to intuitively understand and pick up on any subtle message (although, you don’t always need one!).

Do you see how knowing the end result helps us generate the content up front? Often, I see authors write a story or manuscript that heads in an unknown direction. I’ve done this myself! But, knowing where we want to go, is crucial in keeping our word choice effective.

I love this Story Arc Creation article by Now Novel because it further details how to break up each point of a story arc and how to use it effectively.

Common Communication Mistakes

Assuming People Understand You

Just because something is clear in your mind doesn’t mean it’s clear to someone else.

We shortchange ourselves when we assume rather than ensure.

What does that mean?

Many people are unwilling to perform the cognitive work it takes to communicate in a way that leaves no room for doubt their message was received as intended.

One easy method to make sure people understand you is asking them for feedback.

You’ll be shocked at what people think you actually meant.

Focusing on Yourself Instead of Your Audience

Communication should be audience-centered.

It’s like shouting into a vacuum of space when you only focus on yourself.

We don’t communicate simply to release words into the air.

We communicate with purpose. With intention. With effort.

If we want our communication to result in success, our priorities must be on our audience.

• What do they need?
• What do they think?
• How might this resonate with them?
• Would different words, tone, or style be more clear?

Choosing Emotion Over Clarity

Strong emotions often reduce communication effectiveness.

I wish effective communication was as simple as talking louder or being more passionate.

But it’s not.

The right words, at the right time, in the right way, delivers the right message.

This requires us to truly consider our audience’s needs and being intentional with our message.

Speaking Without a Goal

Messages become unfocused when there is no desired outcome.

Many people open their mouth and hope their goals accomplish themselves.

Unfortunately, many conversations begin without a clear objective. People speak first and think later. Effective communicators reverse that process.

Careful consideration for our intended result before we deliver a message (written or verbal) is far more strategic.

Remember back up to my proposal example.

Before I spoke to the guy in my spot, I had to know what I wanted from him.

Only after I knew what I wanted was I able to consider my words.

Obviously, we don’t know the future. And modern people love to be unpredictable!

However, having a goal in mind upfront leads to a far greater chance of success than shooting from the hip and hoping for the best.

Active Listening Makes Communication More Effective

Communication is often treated as a speaking skill, but listening is equally important.

The best communicators spend time understanding before they attempt to be understood.

When people feel heard, they become more willing to listen in return. Active listening allows us to identify misunderstandings, clarify expectations, and respond more thoughtfully.

Before focusing on what you want to say next, make sure you fully understand what the other person is trying to communicate.

Final Thoughts

Effective communication isn’t about using bigger words or speaking more often.

It’s about understanding your message, understanding your audience, and understanding your desired outcome.

When those three elements align, your communication becomes dramatically more effective.

Whether you’re leading a team, strengthening a relationship, creating content, or simply having a difficult conversation, these principles can help your message achieve its intended result.