Have you ever asked someone what they like to do outside of work, school, or church? Do you notice that split-second hesitation in their trembling voice and the way their pupils dilate? They, like us, are thinking a common thought. A thought passed down from generation to generation. A thought that spares no one: “Should I let them know the real me?”
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We Hide our Authentic Selves in Plain Sight
We wear many masks and identify with and by many things.
The identities we cling to is like a security blanket other people are guaranteed to understand.
We eagerly tell people what we do…for a living. We tell them where we go to school, what we’re studying, and where we are from.
While we try to stay secure within the shell of our occupation, our community, or our family history, we are actually existing in an insecure place internally.
It is here we realize what happens in that fleeting moment when someone asks what we like to do apart from our exposed identity.
We are terrified of being honest.
As if time stands still, in a moment of inquiry, we cannot fathom the idea of stepping out boldly and proclaiming what we actually love to do.
We are petrified sharing our own passions.
Our triumphs.
Our failures.
Our dreams and ideas.
But why? Why do so many of us struggle with opening up our innermost thoughts?
Accept the Bad with the Good
Humans have a terrible track record of accepting, encouraging, and supporting one another.
We are skeptical, cynical, and discouraging most of the time. And, knowing this awful tendency of our fellow friends, let alone enemies, we resort to keeping ourselves a secret.
Keeping our deepest desires reserved for only a sacred time, when we know, without a shadow of a doubt, our hearts will not be trampled.
It’s unfortunate then, that while we wait to bare our souls for the right person at the right time (or never), we are trampling our own hearts.
Have you ever looked up to someone? Ever come across a person of value? Someone you admired and respected?
Who comes to mind?
Do you know what’s fascinating about that person?
They are authentic.
They live their real lives for you and others to see.
They don’t hide behind a mask.
Life is not a masquerade party to them.
Why We Really Admire People
We admire, respect, and look up to people because they have bared their souls.
The have opened the curtain, turned on the spot light and allowed us entry into their life. Into their passion and purpose.
They don’t try to hide all the bad stuff, their failures, or shortcomings.
The let us see the good alongside the bad.
The mountain top next to the valley.
Recently, I had to face this fork in the road.
I was introducing myself to a group of professionals in the engineering industry and we were all asked to share what we like to do outside of work.
Now I have to tell you, especially within a piece about authenticity, that I wear many masks and identify with and by many things.
I often keep my writing and reading life secret from my engineering life and I still struggle finding how to merge the two harmoniously.
But in this moment, I felt an urge to be real. To be raw. To let people in. To let people see the real me. Not the outer shell, but my inner self.
So, I told them. I told them all that I love to write, to read, to exercise. And I even asked that if anyone had good book recommendations, I would love to hear them.
And do you know what happened next? There were two distinct feelings that swelled up in my core.
The first was a weightlessness of being authentic and not hiding the truth about what I really love to do. The burden of trying to be someone different than who I am for a crowd of specific people.
The second thing I felt was a sense of community because only seconds after I shared my passions, someone in the group sent me a private message with a book recommendation. Me opening up triggered a connection with someone else. A fellow book love.
A new layer of relationship was born in that moment of authenticity.
We Must Stop Holding Back
Each of us gives or holds back in our own way but one thing is certain.
I know you want to become a person of influence.
You’ve made it this far and are hungry for more.
Let me tell you a secret.
You already are a person of influence. People notice you and what you do, even if they aren’t telling you. The less we hold ourselves back, the more people will take notice because authenticity is rare.
Authentic people stand out from the crowd.
In every interaction, every connection, and even alone by ourselves, we will face the choice day after day to cover up who we really are or grab hold of our innermost selves.
It can be a scary feeling like we’ll be judged, laughed at, or thought less of.
And I won’t sugar coat it. That will happen from time to time.
But at other times, something else will happen.
If we let people in…If we let people see what we are really about…If we share our lives with people, our hopes, dreams, goals, and ambitious…If we do that…lives will be changed.
People will be encouraged.
People will find community.
People will learn they are not alone.
People will be blown away by perhaps one of the rarest human attributes of our day…bold and courageous authenticity.
Would you take the first step in becoming beautifully authentic by considering these five, simple questions and share your answers in the comments below or in a direct email to me?
I can’t wait to see who you really are and how the world will be better for it.
- What is something most people don’t know about you?
- If money was no object, what would you love to do with your time?
- Who is someone you admire and why do you admire them?
- If you could become better at doing something you are passionate about, what would it be?
- How can we connect with you to spur you on to becoming beautifully authentic?
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- Leave a comment below with your answers from above!
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